Funny

Commonly Used Phrases at the Office and What It Really Means

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  • For your information (FYI). Means: I don’t know what to do with this, so please keep it.
  • Noted and returned. Means: I don’t know what to do with this, so please keep it little while.
  • Review and comment. Means: Do the dirty work so that I can forward it.
  • Action please. Means: Get yourself involved for me. Don’t worry, I’ll claim the credit.
  • For your necessary action. Means: It’s your headache now.
  • Copy to. Means: Here’s a share of my headache.
  • For your approval, please. Means: Put your neck on the chopping board for me please.
  • Action is being taken. Means: Your correspondence is lost and I am trying to locate it.
  • Your letter is receiving our attention. Means: I am trying to figure out what you want.
  • Please discuss. Means: I don’t know what the hell this is, so please brief me.
  • For your immediate action. Means: Do it NOW! Or I will get into serious trouble.
  • Please reply soon. Means: Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient.
  • We are investigating/ processing your request with the relevant authorities. Means: They are causing the delay, not us.
  • Regards. Means: Thanks and bless you for reading all the crap.

Top Silly Websites!

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Top Ten Questions Not To Ask In A Job Interview

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The Metropolitan Life Insurance Company Tower,...
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  • What’s your company’s policy on severance pay?
  • How long does it take your company’s bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance?
  • Do you have a random drug testing policy?
  • Does your company’s life insurance cover suicide?
  • How in depth are your criminal background checks?
  • Does your company’s insurance consider genital herpes a pre-existing condition?
  • How many sick days do you allow each employee before you stop paying them for not being here? 3. Does your insurance cover sex-change operations?
  • Does your internet access have a firewall that blocks pornographic websites? 1. How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash?

Mr. Bean Jokes

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BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!

AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it’s a horror film. I didn’t see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?

Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:

Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom’s dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I’m late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: That’s alright, me too…I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.­

Imagine, If This is Real Conversation

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Man : Boy wats ur Dad’s name?
Boy : His name is LAUGHING.
Man : and ur Mother name ?
Boy : Her name is SMILING.
Man : u then must be kidding
Boy : no they are my brother’s I am just JOKING.

Lots of laugh!

Woman as Explained by Engineers

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WOMEN AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V